food for thought

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I have a rather stressful relationship with food.  I don’t think it’s a unique relationship.  I know others have that same kind of reaction to food. 

As a child I was a picky eater.   A lot of foods upset my stomach and a lot of textures provoked unpleasant reactions.  To me, most food was a duty.  Something to do so that my stomach didn’t hurt or so my mom wouldn’t be upset.  The only exception is that ever popular one….sweets.  I love sweets.  My affection for garbage food was not a problem when I was younger since my metabolism ran so stinkin’ fast.  However- at approximately age 20 my metabolism altered (code word for sssssssssssssssslllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddd ddddddddddddddddoooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnn) ,my metabolism slowed at about the same time as I got married and was introduced to new foods and new eating patterns.  Suddenly I could eat kinda whatever I wanted, when i wanted to without explaining it to anyone.  I discovered a whole new world of food I’d never really experienced (cheese) because my digestive system had altered during my late teens.  I suddenly enjoyed food. 

BUT.  I had 2 problems.
1.) I didn’t know how to balance a healthy diet with the foods I suddenly liked.
2.)  I didn’t know how to cook

my 20’s were an interesting smorgasbord of interesting culinary concoctions (undercooked, over cooked).  My loving hubby ate it all and then gave me ice cream to make all of the bad food taste OK.

So, I gained weight & I became a pretty good cook.

Then, comes that day when gaining weight is NOT only NOT ok but I’m actually gonna fight it.  What do we do first?  We change what we’re eating.  I ate grilled chicken, fish, chicken, fish, chicken, fish….all with a HUGE salad and plenty of veggies and fruit.  I lost a lot of weight.  But, I was bored.  My family was bored.  Cooking healthy is expensive.  The ingredients to a lot of ‘healthy’ meals is frequently extensive and exhaustive.  So, I returned to comfort foods, and I got comfortable again and I gained weight, again.

repeat many, many, many times.

Well, I’ve had it. I’m tired of feeling like food’s my enemy.  I’m tired of looking into my pantry with that extreme sense of dread (do I cook something we like?  or do I cook something healthy for us??).   So, I’m taking calories out of the mix.  (well, not entirely– I’m not stupid).

For the next month I am going to cook as many new meals as I can.  (My family will love me, I already know!!!).  I’m gonna try whatever I can think of .  I’m going to eat small portions, but I will eat!!!! I will not feel guilty (repeat to self 40,000 times in the next 30 days!).   I will continue to run and do pilates and whatever else appeals to me but I will enjoy my food!!!

I feel free!

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8 responses »

  1. One of my favorite guilt-free pleasure foods is smoothies. Frozen strawberries, banana, apple juice, and lots of spinach! I'm working on my diet as well but I'm glad to have a few things that I can enjoy without any guilt!

  2. Lindsay,I do like smoothies and protein shakes, they're my fav go to snack but I never thought of putting in spinach. may e-mail you for a recipe. I LUV spinach!

  3. It's coming up with meals I find difficult. It's no secret I've always been a picky eater (trying to get better…) and at least one of my kids has picked up on that trait. And eating healthy is definitely expensive…makes me want to cook mac 'n cheese every night!For a while I subscribed to a service called "E-Z Meals" which created varied menus for about $5/month, and allowed you to pick the kind of diet you wanted to try. It was helpful, and definitely expanded our horizons!

  4. Memms,I stumbled across the 'food nanny' on byu tv. Online they have a 2 week menu that you can use as a basis for mixing up your menus. I also have a friend (my v.t. companion) who has a blog called marissa's menu (the link is under friends and family) and she does recipes and then a printable shopping list. both of these options have expanded my horizon so I'm less stressed.

  5. Haven't figured out the whole food thing yet myself. Food is one of my pleasures. It is how I take care of people. I am always trying to eat healthier without getting obsessive about it, which is a good track to be on, I think.

  6. Sue,I think that is a good *healthy* outlook and it's one that I don't have that I'm struggling to do. In my head food is categorized into two categories good for me *ie: boring* and bad for me *ie: yummy*. I thought maybe if I just broadened my food horizons I'd find some things that were good for me that I liked and maybe learn some portion control.it's a definite experiment.

  7. Hope, Thanks for posting to Emilie about the Food Nanny site and your friends blog.There is a site that I started to use that uses recipes using foods on sale in stores near you but after I got excited about it (because it said FREE) they hit me with wanting me to pay $15 for 3 months..ugh! I think I will load recipes I like and use into Food Nanny and see how that goes.

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